Hygiene Products “For Men”

Guest post by Mark Nickel

I don’t like hygiene products that are labeled “For Men”. First of all, normally these products are directly next to other products that are already established and well known for men. Also, it’s always lady brands that say “For Men” on them. Like Dove, Nivea, L’Oreal, etc. I’m not going to the think an “after shave balm” directly above the Gillette and just left of the Old Spice is a misplaced feminine product.

Another reason this label is stupid is, as a man, how often do these brands think I purchase their feminine products? How often do I venture into that aisle in Walgreens adjacent to the tampons? Rarely. Are they worried that their uninterested and hardly memorable commercials aimed toward women will mislead or confuse me? I’d bet if the “For Men” tag was left off most guys wouldn’t realize they mostly make products for women. Lets just pretend you’ve made products for men from the start and drop the “For Men” label. No one will ever notice, and my bathroom cabinet won’t make me look like such a sissy.

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People who jaywalk with their hands in their pockets without even looking at the oncoming traffic

Guest post by Mark Nickel

I get it. There isn’t any traffic coming for a little while, but you’re not gingerly strolling through the park. You’re on a road, so please show the slightest sense of urgency. The pedestrian has the right of way. I understand that too, but I drive above the speed limit everyday. You’re breaking the law. I’m breaking the law. The only difference is I’m in a 2500lb killing machine, and you’re protected by a couple thin layers of fabric. I’m not going to ever go out of my way to hit anyone crossing the road, but a teenage girl texting and checking her hair in the mirror might never know what that bump in the road was.

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Pointlessly Used Decimals

Guest review by C. Mark Nickel

I just saw a car that had a badge on it that said 2.0T, which I assume means 2 liter Turbo.

Ok, why is there a decimal with a zero? Why? Why doesn’t 2T mean the same thing? Are car manufacturers worried that the customer will think that it’s actually just a 1.92T rounded up for the aesthetic of 2? There’s no reason to ever put “.0” after anything, ever.

I’m guessing half of the people who saw it didn’t know the “T” meant turbo. So really, it’s possible YOU, the manufacturer, are throwing curve balls and people who don’t know anything about cars for no reason.

I also hate cars that don’t have names. I don’t want to drive an SL335x Type ZR (wtf?).

I want to drive something that has an identity, preferably named after an animal or something that sounds fast.

Also, no catchy adjectives or musical terms.

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Racist Paper

It seems like we should be beyond this…
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Salsa Breaks

Smoke breaks are out, salsa breaks are in.
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Bathroom Note

Walked into the bathroom at work today and this note was laying on the toilet lid.
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Acer Fail

This doesn’t build my confidence in your computers.
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